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Charges:
The needless vandalism of valuable reading materials.
This convict has also been known to chew other items such as
door trim, doors, area rugs, etc.
On November 7, the perpetrator made a raid on reading materials
stored in the bathroom. As you can see, the damage inflicted
on the Lee Valley hardware catalog is severe. When questioned,
Buzz Saw denied any knowledge of the crime; however, forensics
detected shredded paper in her beard. It was an open and
shut case.
Buzz Saw wants to make restitution and would like you to send
a new catalogue to her owners. As part of a plea bargain, all
charges will then be dropped.
Convict:
Arby (a.k.a. Buzz Saw)
Thank you,
Mr. and Mrs. H. A.
(Representing the accused)
Enderby, British Columbia
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